Finding That Sweet Spot Between Overconfidence and Self-doubt

Over the course of my career I’ve come across a lot of individuals and through these individuals i’ve identified the two different types — those that think themselves to be far better at what they do than they really are; and those that don’t view themselves to be even a fraction of how valuable they truly are. While not everyone falls into one of these two categories, there are an alarmingly large number of people that do. 

I’ve realised from my past experiences that the overconfident group only thrives in the short term. While, the second group is full of individuals that get in their own way; people who are full of unwarranted self-doubt. Here’s the thing though, I’m almost positive that these are the people that are almost always better off in the long run. 

Want to know why? because self-doubt is a lot easier to overcome than ego and self-righteousness. Confidence is built and sustained through consistent action and making informed decisions, that can only be made successful through constructively questioning whether you’re making the right decision. 

While overconfidence is built through a false sense of pride and a “fake it till you make it” mindset — that almost always catches up to you. Your best asset can just as easily become your biggest liability. The overconfident group is unable to handle criticism in any shape or form; be it constructive or otherwise. It is simply more than their egos can endure. Because ultimately, overconfidence is nothing but a compensatory mechanism to mask self-doubt, unbeknownst to even those that use it as a mechanism. 

However, what both the self-doubters and the overconfident have in common is that they are both prey to a false sense of self. Ultimately, they are both one and the same, in the sense where they are both based on false pretences. The self-doubters have convinced themselves that they are unable to do things they are fully capable of doing. Whilst the overconfident have convinced themselves that nobody is as good as them at what they do. 

It’s important to sometimes play devil’s advocate against yourself. The human mind is a complex place. We are far better at procuring evidence in favour of our desired decision than at rounding up evidence against it. To most, it may feel less natural to ask, “Why might I be wrong?” or to take into consideration the opinions and concerns of critics. The ego is a risky place that more often than not can get in the way, after all it feels great to be right. However, when stakes are high, it’s always worth your while to challenge those sanctimonious feelings.

I think we can stand to learn something from both groups. While overconfidence can be seen as obnoxious when shown excessively, in some scenarios, it’s not the worst perspective to walk into most situations with. If you’re walking into a job interview, tell yourself, there is simply no way you aren’t getting the job. Feel it in your bones and emanate confidence. 

However, once you have secured said job — adopt some humility from the under-confident. Acknowledge that you are new and have yet to learn about the business or industry you have walked into. But also acknowledge that you are completely capable of becoming the best you can be.

Humility is where self-doubt and confidence intersect. It is something that keeps your ego in check and helps you remain grounded. It is a checks and balances system on reality and perspective that keeps you humble. Serving as a positive force for both traits, it is an integral component of both confidence and self-doubt. 

Humility is something the overconfident should learn to practice. If humility is something you choose to never exercise, eventually life has a way of humbling you. Through consciously understanding that there is always going to be someone out there, that is better at a certain task than you are —  you begin to understand that your success is marginal. That is when you begin to strive for consistent improvement. 

Ultimately, it is the middle ground that keeps us centred in reality. Knowing that you aren’t nearly as great or as terrible as you think you are. Recognising and accepting our misjudgments, as well as acknowledging and taking pride in moments of success, is where we find the sweet spot between overconfidence and self-doubt. 

Never stop learning, never stop practicing and never stop preparing.