The Paradox of High Expectations

I had someone once tell me, “I just want to be financially free and I will be happy”, which got me thinking, what does it take to live a happier and more fulfilled life? A successful career, ego-validation, material possessions, social life? 

I came to the realisation that happiness is relative to each individual person, dependent on their individual expectations. So, I told my friend, lower your expectations, move to a farm, grow your own food, sell excess food, be self-sustaining. Poof done, financially free. However, 10 years from now don’t expect a different outcome and regret in any way how things turned out. For everything has its pros and cons. 

To be financially free, we could cook every meal, wake up earlier, take public transportation every day and just generally spend less, so that what we earn is sufficient. But then we can’t expect to be able to simply splurge from time to time, be it on an overseas trip or shopping spree. Low expectations and hence, an outcome that meets these expectations are more likely. Question is, are you going to be grateful or regretful in a couple of years?

We all have certain expectations of our lives — it could be in terms of our relationships, our career paths or even just who we’ve always wished we were. 

• “I’m going to graduate with a degree and corporations will line up to hire me. I’ll pick the one with the best compensation and i’ll only get richer from there” 
• “I have a great business idea. I’ll raise some starting capital, hire a couple of people to create the product, we’ll start selling it and I’ll be the next Bill Gates or Steve Jobs.” 
• “I really like her. We’ll get married, have kids, she’ll want 5 but we’ll settle for 2, buy a holiday home in the mountains. Bam. The happy life.” 

What are the chances of all these scenarios coming to life exactly the way we imagine them to? I can’t tell you exactly, but if I had to muster up a guess I would say close to 0.001%. Times are unexpected and they always will be, right now we’re dealing with the coronavirus and who knows how long that’ll last, not to mention the aftershocks. 

While I’m not trying to swoop in and bash all your hopes and dreams, a little pragmatism never hurt. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying you shouldn’t aim high in life or hold high standards. Those things are good, they are something to work towards. However, it is counterproductive to rely solely on your imagination to build a completely impractical timeline that leads to outcomes. High expectations should be coupled with great efforts to achieve certain outcomes.

If you aren’t willing to do what it takes to meet your expectations, then you can’t really be upset if those expectations aren’t met. Case in point, thinking about starting a business and wanting to be the next Jeff Bezos, but giving up as soon as you hit a speed bump, or two, or a hundred…

If you want to reach your desired outcome and be accomplished, put in the work and the countless hours it’s going to take to get there. Things don’t happen overnight, and the sooner you realise that and do something about it, the sooner you’ll get there. Ultimately sitting back with high expectations and minimal effort is not going to get you anywhere.